Have you ever had one of those days? You know the one’s I’m talking about, where you put your head in your hands and think, “I’m not cut out for homeschooling, I am totally failing my kids, I am a terrible homeschool mom”
Deep breath, that’s right, you are not alone.
We all have them. We all have days where we look at our children and wonder if we really are the best teachers for them.
Maybe you’ve butted heads with your child all day. Maybe they seem to have forgotten everything they knew yesterday, or maybe your day was completely interrupted and derailed for some reason.
Let’s get this out of the way first. Homeschooling is hard. Sometimes as a homeschool mom we feel like the entirety of our children’s future is in our hands.
I mean think about it, not only are we teaching them how to tie their shoes, make their beds and be kind and respectful human beings, but we are also 100% responsible for their education. It can be a huge weight to carry, and one that we want to make sure we aren’t screwing up.
The days where we feel like where we’re failing weigh heavy on us because… hello, it’s our children’s education!
So I’m here to tell you today, you are NOT failing, absolutely not.
“But you don’t know” you’re saying “you didn’t see what happened around my dining room table today!”
Related Post- “I Can’t do This Anymore” When Homeschooling is Hard
That’s ok, I don’t need to. Want to know how I know you’re not failing? Because you’re here reading this. Because you probably got online and posted in a homeschool mom facebook group looking for advice. Because when you’ll be talking to your mom or your husband, or another homeschool mom about this looking to be better, do better, and find your way.
You see that’s how I know, you want to do your best for your child, so you are not failing. As long as you are leading with love and wanting to give your kiddo a great education you are on the right path.
But maybe there’s more to it, maybe this feeling of failure is wrapped up in something else, something that needs to be addressed, so let’s look at some ways to combat the feeling of homeschool mom failure.
- Was today just a bad day? Sometimes it’s easy to be a little dramatic. We’re stressed, our kids aren’t being cooperative, our house is a mess… it’s a bad homeschool day. When we have those days it’s easy to start into a downward spiral, feeling sorry for ourselves and convincing ourselves that we just can’t do it, that we are total homeschool failures. So be honest with yourself, was it just a bad day?? If that’s the case, take a little time to regroup, chill out, even take a couple of days off. Start again refreshed and ready to go.
- Do you feel this way frequently? If it’s not just a bad day the root of the problem might be a little deeper, so let’s dig in. Are you putting too much pressure on your self or your child? Are you trying to muscle your way through that expensive curriculum that you thought you’d love but you hate? Are these feelings coming from a place of fear? Fear of failing, fear of screwing up, fear of missing something important? Do you have stress in other areas of your life that you are misdirecting on your homeschooling? If it’s a reoccurring theme really take some time to think about what the problem truly is. Don’t be afraid to course correct and try something new. Don’t be afraid to spend some time having fun and get back to the heart of why you homeschool!
Related Post- The Heart of Why I Homeschool
- Is your child unhappy? Maybe the trouble you’re having is a child who is acting out, refusing to do work, or not putting forth their best effort. Maybe you’re spending time arguing instead of teaching and it’s taking a toll. Again, we need to get to the bottom of this. Take the time to talk to your child, ask them what they don’t like, what they do like. Figure out their learning style and try to teach in a way that works best for them. If they are particularly terrible about one subject maybe only tackle it a couple of times a week. Agree with them that you’ll only work on it every other day if they do their best when you do. Remember you are mom first and teacher second. Listen to your child and try to work together for a solution.
- Are you stuck in a comparison trap? Are you putting pressure on yourself because you feel like your child isn’t where they would be if they were in “real” school? Do you have homeschool friends who are involved in 479 activities and who’s kids always seem to be well-groomed and doing what they’re told. If you’re looking at your homeschool through the lens of comparison you are going to nit pick the hell out of it. You are going to look for faults and judge yourself way too harshly. Don’t compare, don’t hold yourself or your child up to some impossible standard, everyone else is doing what works for them (or doesn’t)
Related Post- Help! My Homeschooled Child is Falling Behind
Whatever the cause of your feelings of failure, often the best thing to do is just take a step back and look for the real issues, underlying causes, and how we can work to fix them.
Remember to always lead with your heart, remember why you choose to homeschool, and remember that tomorrow is another day!
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